Jokes

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

মানুষ হয়েও🖋মানুষ হতে পারিনি🖋🖋

স্যার একটা কথা বলবো?
-কি বল?
-আজ আমার সারে ১২টায় ছুটি দেবেন?
-কেন? কি করবি?
-বাড়ি গিয়ে ভাত খাবো, পেটে খুব ক্ষিধা লাগছে।
-কেন সকালে খেয়ে আসোনি?
-না।
-কেন?
-তরকারি নেই। আর লবণ দিয়ে ভাত খেতে পারি
না।
তাই খেতে পারিনি।
কথাটা শুনতেই বুকের মধ্যে কেমন যেন
লাগলো স্যারের?
-রাতে কি খেয়েছো?
-গরম ভাতে পানি দিয়ে ডাল মনে করে ভাত।
-এখন কি দিয়ে খাবে?
-মা বললো ইস্কুল ছুটির পর গেলে কচু
রান্না করে রাখব। সেটি দিয়ে মজা করে ভাত
খাবো।
মায় খুব মজা করে কচু রান্না করতে পারে।
কখন যে চোখটা ঝাপসা হয়ে আসল বুঝতে পারিনি।
একদিন তোমার মায়ের হাতের রান্না করা কচু
খেয়ে আসব। নিয়ে যাবে তোমার বাসায়?
যাবেন স্যার সত্য?
হ্যাঁ যাব। যাও বাড়ি গিয়ে পেট ভরে ভাত খাও।
মুখে পৃথিবী জয় করা হাসি নিয়ে বই হাতে নিয়ে
তার
চলে যাওয়ার দিকে মন্ত্র মুগ্ধের মত তাকিয়ে
রইলাম।
তরকারির জন্য ভাত খেতে পারছে না। অথচ
আমাদের এই সমাজে কত মানুষ আছে যাদের
খাবারের মেনুতে কত আইটেম থাকে। যা তারা
খেয়ে শেষ করতে পারে
না। অবশিষ্ট অংশ চলে যায় ডাস্টবিনে। এমন অনেক
বাবা মা আছেন যারা ছেলেকে বিভিন্ন নামি দামি
স্কুলে
পড়ান। গাড়ি করে নিয়ে যান। ছেলের কত আবদার!
সব পূরণ করতে ব্যস্ত। অথচ রাস্তায় পড়ে থাকা
মানুষ
গুলোর দিকে ফিরেও তাকান না। তাকাবেন কেন??
তাকালেই তো ঘাড়ে এসে পড়বে। আমরা তো
নিজেকে নিয়ে ব্যস্ত। হাজার টাকার বডি স্প্রে
গায়ে দিয়ে ঘুরে
বেড়াই। ঈদ আসলে,পুজো আসলে ব্যস্ত হয়ে
পড়ি শপিং নামক
টাকা উড়ানোর খেলায়। বিভিন্ন নামি দামি কোম্পানির
সব পোশাক
কিনতে ব্যস্ত হয়ে পড়ি। কিন্তু বুঝতে চাই না এই
বাইরের পোশাক গুলোতে আমাকে কি
মানাচ্ছে?
অথচ একটা গরীব লোক এসে বলছে-দুটো
টাকা
দেন। তখন বলি-খুচরা নাই। মাফ কর।
গার্লফ্রেন্ডকে
নিয়ে চাইনিজ খেতে যায়। কত টাকা খরচ হয় হিসাব
রাখে না অথচ
গরীব রিক্সাচালক যখন বলে-পাঁচটা টাকা বাড়তি দেন।
তখন তার গায়ে হাত তুলতে দ্বিধাবোধ করে না। ঐ
গরীব লোক গুলোর অপরাধ কি?
অপরাধ একটাই যে সৃষ্টিকর্তা তাদেরকে
গরীবের
ঘরে জন্ম দিয়েছেন। আর আপনাকে সোনার
চামচ মুখে দিয়ে কোন ধনী বাবার ঘরে। আমি
ছেলে মেয়ে কাউকে উদ্দেশ্য করে এই
পোষ্টটা দেইনি। আমি আমাকেই এখানে কল্পনা
করছি।,,,,,,সবাই এগিয়ে চলো,,,,

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Best funny jokes🖋Boltu👉Maneger

Boltu and his wife are checking out of the hotel overnight the next morning: -

 Manager: Hello sir, tell me what can I do for you?

 Boltu: Nothing, work is over here, we will go to another city this time.  Tell me how much is your bill?

 Manager: One minute sir.

 Yes, only 7500 rupees sir.

 Boltu: Seki, only 7500 rupees per night?  Isn't that too much?

 Manager: Yes sir, in fact it is a 5star hotel.

 Boltu: But how do you justify 7500?  It's too much.

 Manager: What do you say sir - gym, theater, swimming pool, golf course, casino and even spa we have, 7500 rupees is nothing.

 Boltu: But I didn't use any of these.

 Manager: That is irrelevant sir, you could have done it if you wanted. You had the whole night.

 Boltu: All right, I don't have much money, will you take a check?

 Manager: Of course.  Happily

 Boltu: (cuts a check for 1500 rupees) Take this.

 Manager: Sir sir, I mean you don't seem to have heard, I said 7500.

 Boltu: I know.  I have deducted 6000 rupees.

 Manager: Cut?  But why?

 Boltu: For the crime of making love with my wife.

 Manager: But I did not fall in love with your wife.

 Person: That's irrelevant, you could have done it if you wanted. You had the whole night.  Well, let's go.

 The manager is unconscious

Monday, May 4, 2020

😀😁Very funny jokes🖋🖋A English Man And Bangladeshi🎧🎧

Gopal's father went to England !!!
 .
 Gopal's father was drinking coffee in a cafe there !! Suddenly an Englishman came and said to Gopal's father .....
 .
 .
 .
 Englishman: Let's play a game !!!  The game is like this, I'll ask you some questions.  If you can't answer then you will give me 50 rupees !!  You will question me again !!  If I can't answer then I will give you 3000 rupees !!!
 .
 .
 .
 Gopal's father thought, let me show this shit a little what is Bangladeshi thing !!!
 .
 .
 .
 So Gopal's father agreed immediately !!!
 .
 .
 .
 The Englishman asked, how far is the moon from the earth ???
 .
 Gopal's father said nothing and took 50 rupees out of his pocket and handed it over to the English !!!
 .
 Englishman is very happy !!!
 .
 .
 .
 Then, Gopal's father asked the Englishman, is there any person who has 32 arms and 36 legs ???
 .
 .
 .
 The Englishman
began to think !!!  Not finding the answer, he took out the laptop and searched the internet !!  Even then he got nothing and massaged his friend !!  Still no work.  No one could answer.  Disappointed, the Englishman gave 3000 rupees to Gopal's father !!!
 .
 .
 .
 The English man was surprised and asked Gopal's father, what will be the answer to your question brother ???
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 .
 Gopal's father (I) took 50 rupees out of his pocket and handed it to the Englishman and said, I don't know the answer to your question !!  Take this 50 rupees !!!
 .
 (Then the English man is unconscious) .....

 # Don't know Bengali

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Very Nice Jokes English Dubbed😁😀😁😀 Sir What Is Rape...

1👉
I used to teach a 5th class student.
 One day he suddenly asked
 -Sir, what is rape?
 I threatened.
 Still asking
 -Sir, don't say.
 I said ..
 - You, in the movie
 Didn't you see that the villain grabbed the girl?
 He said
 - What do you do for a living?
 It is very difficult, I said angrily
 - Take it and kill it, kill a lot.
 After listening to the student ,,, I'm finished ..!
 .
 .
 .
 .
 The student said ...
 -Sir, if you hit me again, I'll tell Dad,
 - That you raped me!
,
,2👉One boy posted on Facebook
  The Prime Minister is in power by stealing votes
  Here it is.  He's not good. "
  DB police found this status
  Gone
  The boy has already been arrested,
  A few cases are to be taken to court
  Then the judge asked
  You called the Prime Minister a vote thief
  Why
  The boy simply answered,
  Honorable Judge, I have given the status
  There is but no country
  I have given it to the Prime Minister
  So I may not have mentioned
  To the Prime Minister of Pakistan Imran Khan
  Intended
  Hearing the answer, the blood of the judge's feet rose to his head
  Gone, swollen veins in anger, chair
  He jumped up and punched the table
  Said with a shout
  "Rude, motherfucking, we're having fun"
  The Prime Minister of any country is a vote thief
  We don't know

Saturday, May 2, 2020

🎤🎤Music/Song🎤🎤Your Wishes💝💝

Your wishes,
 The wishes.
 Your wishes
 You can give it to me if you want,
 I like, love,
 I'll give you more.

 You just hold my hand
 I will not be anyone else,
 You just hold my hand
 I will not be anyone else.
 Your dreams are numb in my eyes.
 Your wishes,
 The wishes.

 You can give me what you want,
 I like you, love, I will give you more.
 Your emotions are lingering behind me, whimsical.
 I didn't find anything else at the bend in the way.

 You just hold my hand
 I will not be anyone else,
 You just hold my hand
 I will not be anyone else.
 Your dreams are numb in my eyes.
 Your wishes, your wishes.

 You can give me what you want,
 I like you, love, I will give you more.
 My heart is pounding
 In your current
 I will go to you on the day of being alone.

 You just hold my hand
 I will not be anyone else,
 You just hold my hand
 I will not be anyone else.
 Your dreams are numb in my eyes.
 Your wishes,
 The wishes.

 You can give me what you want,
 I like you, love, I will give you more.

😀Jokes father son drunk😁

Jiju with her baby
 Went to the party.
 Jiju has been chatting for a long time
 Drunk
 Suddenly thinking of her baby
 Next to
 He looked and saw his baby too
 He has drunk a little.
 Jiju: The car itself in a state of intoxication
 Continue home from the party
 Was returning
 And after a while the baby was talking.
 Suddenly a traffic policeman on duty
 Stopping the car and asking questions,
 Traffic Police: Your car
 Run
 I doubt you will
 Driving drunk!
 Jiju: No, I'm not drunk.
 Traffic Police: All right,
 You have a detector for me
 I have a machine, I'm checking you
 Drunk or not?
 Jiju ha halo and "drunk" on the machine
 Gave the signal.
 Traffic Police: The machine says, you
 Drunk.
 Bolt: Your machine is broken.
 Traffic Police: Impossible!
 Jiju: All right, you're my little one
 Hold the machine in the child's face, let's see what happens
 Signals?  So much for children and alcohol
 Don't drink!
 Traffic Police: All right, baby
 Do that.
 The child smiled.  And on the machine
 As usual, he gave the "drunk" signal.
 Immediately the traffic police were embarrassed
 He said,
 "Sorry for wasting your time.
 That is the machine of many days ago
 Sometimes
 Disturbed in the meantime?

Friday, May 1, 2020

The Story one night basar🖋

The story of Basar night
 ↘↙
 On the night of Basar, the husband asked his new wife, "Was there anyone in your life before marriage? You can tell me. This must be a common thing nowadays.
 The wife thought that her husband was so simple. The wife got down from the bed and took out a box from the cupboard and gave it to her husband. Inside the box was a 50 taka note and 6 rice.

 Wife: Whenever I liked or fell in love with a boy, I would put rice in this box one by one .....

 Husband: Oh that means you were in love with 6 people ....? And what is this 50 rupees ...?

 Wife: I got this 50 rupees by selling 1 kg of rice a week ago. And there are 8 rice left. I couldn't sell these ...

 The husband is lying in the hospital bed and telling the nurse how much rice is in 1 kg of rice ........

https://youtu.be/2hejrUyHKiA